Get Her to the Greeks

K, so I've been working on this project hardcore for a while now. I can't believe it's all coming together. I keep telling people that it's been like a puzzle. I've been given all these amazing pieces and I just have to figure out how to put them together!

I don't know if you've been paying attention to the massive refugee crisis that the world is facing. I'm sure you've seen on Facebook the backlash that Presidential candidate Donald Trump is facing with his offensive comments about Muslims and refugees coming to the United States. I bet if your Mormon, you've heard about the church's stance on assisting refugees.

Well, this is my stance! Look, I know that there's a lot to be figured out with refugees coming to the United States. But I believe that we can at least help the refugees with where they're at right now. Thousands of refugees are flooding into Europe. The staff assisting these refugees are overwhelmed with the influx of people. My friend Adam Steed is a coordinator for Mercy Worldwide and he's been volunteering on Lesvos Island in Greece to aid the thousands of refugees coming in through the coast. He says that they could use our help there. 

I'm working with Regis University to get a group of healthcare students to go to the island and help with emergency medical relief. And just so you know, we're getting traction. \

I know that we can't save all the refugees, and I know that I personally can't convince Congress to accept refugees in this country. But I know that we can help these refugees in one aspect of their lives. We might not be able to fix their homelessness, or their security, or their financial needs, but I can help them with their medical needs. I believe in cura personalis, a Jesuit value in Latin which translated means "care of the entire person." I believe that cura personalis can start with guaranteeing these refugees care for their health. 

Sunday Stop-by

I was surprised at what a great day at church it was. I didn't really go in in the right state of mind. I had fifty billion other things on my mind. But, by the end, I felt like I had hope again. I can make it through this week. It will be okay. History does repeat itself. I have passed tests like these before. I will make it through. On a broader scope, unfortunately we have seen world events like what's happening now before. They are seen throughout history. They are seen in the scriptures.

Believe In Yourself

You know, I have been really down on myself lately. My mother, and my friend Frans reminded me of this today.

I didn't realize what an impact is made when you don't believe in yourself.

I'm really going to try to work on that.
But, I believe that I am going to make a great pharmacist. And I believe that I am going to make a good girlfriend and good wife and mother someday.

Gratitude to Give: Part 1

So much has changed since writing this blog.

I don't really know where to begin. As I read these posts, I can't help but miss the young, optimistic naive Suzette. She seems so far away sometimes.

What I've decided to do, is try to write one post every day the rest of this month of things I am grateful for.

I am grateful for humble, but functioning resources like my car and my home. While many people worry about my car, I am so grateful for it. It has really helped me out this past year and a half. It has gotten me through multiple trips back and forth from Utah. It became our best ride up into the mountains last year because of its four-wheel drive.

I am grateful for a bed that I have to rest my head on at night. Over the summer, I had the opportunity to do an internship up in Aspen! It was amazing! However, some of the most terrifying nights I've ever had were up there. Like one night waking up to what I'm pretty sure was a bear outside my car. I didn't know what fear was until then. Or another night waking up to a cop shining his light in my face while sleeping. Let me say one thing: being homeless is not easy. It's like this ebb and flow of fearing for your life. And I discovered I have a lot to learn when it comes to survival. Honestly makes me grateful that I have a place where no one is invading my bed at night.

While I mention these trivial things, I can't help but mention my Savior. When I bought my car, I found a car almost exactly within my budget. During long road trips, I'd like to believe He was there with me--protecting me. Even though my housing situation now definitely did not turn out the way I expected, I think it turned out okay in the end. I have roommates that care about me.

I've been sitting around thinking of everything I don't have, but it's looking like it's helping more to think what I do have.

2015 Summer: Goals and Failing to Predict What I Actually Needed to Learn

I didn't broadcast much about my goals this summer. I'm not entirely sure where a lot of these came from. I think they came from frustrations with shortcomings. They came as treating symptoms not in treating the root cause. As a good report, here's what I anticipated to get out of my summer:

Become a...
confident cook.
confident gardner.
home decor artist.
confident, humble outdoor enthusiast.
knowledgeable student pharmacist.
advocate for the family.
good missionary.
health nut.
reserved & respected.
good with finances.

I know some of these stemmed from the strengths of others. Confident cook? Kjirstin. Confident gardner? My grandma, Martha Flandro. Home decor artist? My grandma. Reserved and respected? Samantha Phelps and my friend Kevin.

Others came from my long-term goals. Some of them also came from my impressions from church.

Here's my report:
Did not really attempt
Home decor artist. Yeah, I still need to convince myself to even attempt to spend money on this! It's like...food or painting?

Advocate for the family. This one was a lot harder than I thought. With a huge push for broader definitions of marriage, with a roller coaster family reunion/road trip, and with distance...it was hard for me to advocate for families. I got confused...lost...and I messed up. But, I still believe in families. I believe if we all put more effort into our families, and trust me that includes me, we would be a lot happier. And that would prove beneficial for our societies. And I also believe that before we point fingers at failed social constructs, we need to evaluate what impact we're having in our own home. I also believe that it would benefit humanity if we could live in societies that seek to support healthy home relationships, rather than societies that seek to replace them.

Good missionary. I think I need to work on my relationship with God before I can resolutely defend it and invite others to. I feel like because of that, I let a friend down. Because I couldn't stand firm and be there for him, that I let him and my Savior down. That I was so focused on myself and my hurt and my confusion, that I missed opportunities to serve. To forget myself and go to work--which would've proven more beneficial, I think.


Attempted/Somewhat did
Confident cook? At the beginning of the summer, I did a bit of cooking. I cooked this mean Greak broccoli and sun-dried tomato salad. But, towards the end of the summer, especially as I went up to Aspen, I hardly cooked! I just couldn't get myself to.

Confident gardner? Again, I was doing well through the first half of the summer. I was taking care of my basil plant. I even used some of the basil in recipes! But, with traveling and the socializing of summer, my Basil passed.

Confident, humble outdoor enthusiast. I tried my best to be confident. I also tried my best--sometimes less than my best--to be a humble outdoor enthusiast. I was really humbled when I was camping up in Aspen and I became petrified of bears. 

Health nut. I attempted. I was listening to performance nutrition podcasts, I had given up sugar for a while, I was eating tons of fruits and vegetables. But, fear and laziness sunk in. Indulgence and comfort became my allies and my pursuits.

Reserved and respected. I didn't know how to approach this one. I feel in some sense, I connected with childhood Suzette. Who wasn't afraid to do things on her own. Who wasn't afraid of the silence. But is that really who I'm meant to be?

Good with finances. I was good until the end of July. Then, I just started using up my credit card, especially while on my "vacanternship" up in Aspen. Everything kind of hit the fan from there. Oops.

Accomplished
Knowledgeable student pharmacist. I really feel like this was tested and proven in my internship at Aspen Valley Hospital. The camping kept me humble, and when I got there, I was ready to learn. I learned everything from tobramycin dosing, monitoring peaks and troughs, spectrum of activity, etc. to different assessment tools for diagnosis. I learned that if I give myself proper time for research, I can do a solid job! It was so awesome to see my preceptor give advice to patients based off of my research, to be able to have passionate discussions with my preceptors, and to be able to impress them with not just recitation but depth of understanding just after my first year. Thank you Mrs. Colligan, my high school English teacher, for teaching me how to research, write beautifully constructed papers, and how to relish it! (I think it even goes back to Mrs. Hiner, Mrs. Painter, Mrs. Richards, Mrs. Theisen). Anyways, thank you Justin, my debate coach, for teaching me to get at the root of the argument. To look at both sides. To know that even this morning's news can be used to prove my argument. For teaching me that the internet can basically prove anything, but you want good, sound research on your side. Thank you to Dr. Christensen, for teaching me how to delve into scientific research and extrapolate worthwhile information. Especially trying to do it quickly.
 

In summary, at the beginning of summer, I thought it would be great to just write down things I wanted out of life...either spontaneously or with end goals in mind. I failed. I failed a lot. Why though? In the past, when I turned to God with my goals, He would help me finish them. I don't think I went to Him to figure out what He wanted for me. I didn't align my goals with my priorities.

So what did I learn this summer?

That friendship is so very important. That it can help provide support when I don't feel it otherwise. That there are truly loyal people out there that despite knowing my shortcomings, they stick it out. Because they see something more important, more valuable, and more beautiful in me that transcends any reservations they may have.

That I need to continue to progress, but I think I need to find it in the way that God sees it. He knows better than I on what I need to work on, and also deep down, I believe He knows how to make me happier than I think I know how to.