What a day. I am mostly posting this for my little sister who keeps encouraging me to post (though I hardly feel like it matters).
Today was a hard day. I woke up at 7:45 am. Dang, already up 15 min. late.
Showered and got changed. Time is of the essence even more.
Leave for my walk to the grocery store. I get this from my parents: I am stubbornly independent. My sister and I discussed that we were raised that way. Learning to tie our own shoes, learning to tell time on our own. I've learned to really understand and appreciate this parenting. However, my determination nipped me in the butt this morning. Or was that the wind?
A little disgruntled because my lovely boots have these nice slits down the middle of the sole. But, they're the only decent boots I can wear to work and school, so I suck it up.
I get to talk to my mom on the way to the store. It helps me forget how cold it is. And that I might slip because my shoes also have no traction on them.
Grocery store. I planned for 30min there. I ended up spending 45min there. Less time to get ready before school.
Groceries cost $14 more than I anticipated. Less money for emergencies. I realize that I am getting poorer by the second. I pray to God that no big financial emergencies happen this week.
I contemplate whether or not I should tell my parents. I decide not to.
After the grocer rings up my bags (btw, the workers were all super nice), I stuff about 20lbs. worth of food into my backpack. I then carry about 10 lbs. of groceries in each hand. I wish I knew the exact weight. However, I am basing this off of weightlifting in past experiences. Whatever the weights, my back still hurts from this morning and I feel sore muscles in my hands.
I realize that I have about 5min to get home to be on time. It takes me 20min to walk home. The whole time I grumble at cars driving by, wishing they'd stop and take me home.
I get home, and quickly put away my groceries. I eat my own cereal for the first time this year. It feels so good to have cereal. I feel like a queen. Then I think how pathetic I am for thinking that.
10am. Crap. My cello lesson starts in 30 min. and I still have to look presentable. Alright, quick straighten of the bangs, swap of make-up on and I'm out the door.
Run to my cello lesson. Somehow I made it from my apartment to the HFAC in 9min. However, no need to rush because my cello teacher was late. I wasn't mad at her; I was mad at the fact I wasn't psychic and knew she would be late. Dumb reason I know. But, I would rather be mad at myself than at her.
Cello lesson. Didn't actually get to play the cello. I was a bit nervous by the music she chose. Even though I've have about 6 years of playing the cello, I still consider myself an amateur. Come to find out, I had been holding the bow and the cello wrong for all of those years.
Because she was late, I said I could stay after and get my full cello lesson in. It was 11:19am. I need to get home, finish getting ready, and then head to biology.
I rush home. I look at the clock. 11:29am. Alright, I have about 15 minutes! Oh wait, I also have to pack lunch, a snack, and dinner because I won't be home till 10pm tonight. Oh, and I have to print out my bio assignment due at noon today. That means I need to leave 5 min. earlier.
I try to salvage any hope of looking good today. Maybe no one will get too close to me today.
Made it out at 11:43am. Get to the Benson building by 11:49. I rush past people downstairs to get to the computer and print out my paper. The printer isn't working down there.
Run upstairs. That printer isn't working either.
Run the opposite direction to my classroom to print at the closes printer. Finally! I rush to class, knowing my assignment is due at the start and then we have a quiz.
I made it. With 1 minute to spare. I hand in a 2-page, unstapled paper. I figure writing my name on both pages will do the trick.
Good thing I know two people in the class. One is an odd friend, and the other I wish we weren't just friends. The odd friend mentions to me that I am sweating. Even though I stopped to perfume myself before class, I feel completely embarrassed next to my "just friends" friend. Thankfully, I have nothing to worry about because he's looking for the blonde chick that just happens to be the same major as he is. They will attend this meeting tonight together and fall madly in love. I am glad I got to witness a BYU marriage in the making.
Class ends, I push thoughts of insecurity and frustration to the back of my mind and whip out my iPod to help direct my feelings towards something. I have 10 min to get from the Marb to the Tanner. Challenge accepted. These negative feelings fuel my walking pace. Make it there on time.
I meet some new people in New Testament. I always enjoy Brother Griffin's lectures.
After class, at 1:50pm, I head to work which starts at 2:30. It's a nice little walk (though I feel the daunting 7 hour shift weighing on my mind). It'll be okay.
Work. I work with lovely people. I often wish I could more like them. My little faults seem to be very apparent to me when I'm at work. Sometimes humbling, sometimes overwhelming.
When we called 10-min breaks, I always had something to do. Didn't really have much of a dinner.
I monitored my people. I don't feel like I'm motivating them or that I'm getting through to them. I felt harsh sort of. And I kept stumbling on my words. But, I get the most wonderful people to talk with.
I can't get in touch with Pualani. We were going to get ice cream tonight. Oh well. Maybe tomorrow night.
Thankfully, my coworkers drove me home. Though I miss my nightly walk. Walks are nice to just contemplate.
Get home. Waste sometime and then finish my bio assignment that's due at 11pm. Finish within 15min of 11. Then, I attempt to finish the last problem on my physics homework. Settled for my failed attempts, and then played the cello.
I had to keep readjusting my hand position on the bow over and over again. What seemed to be my leisurely activity just turned into another disappointment of today.
I'm sorry ya'll for being so down. I learned in my Marriage and Family class that it's okay to have down days. In fact it's normal. As I look back at today, I can change my attitude and it doesn't make it so bad. But, I think I need to let out the negative before I extinguish it. I've been trying to get these feelings out all day, but had a hard time expressing it. Thanks for listening, anyone out there. Here's to a day filled with hard work, and the hope that it will eventually pay off.
