When Expectations Fall Short, Do Not Doubt

Wow, do you ever feel like people are expecting you to do so much? To be something that you might not have the capabilities to be?

I think this applies so much to who we are. We are defined by so many our relationships: daughter, sister, girlfriend, roommate, Relief Society Meeting Committee Member on Health & Wellness, Student Leadership, Lab Assistant, Student. Without other people, I could not consider myself to be those things.

What else am I that doesn't require the existence of close relationships? A blogger, a runner, a cellist, a scriptorian, a cook, a cleaner. I could successfully not know anyone personally and still be capable of these things. If I was not personally attached to anyone, I would still be capable of being something.

But, what would that something amount to? Eventually the blog would grow dull. The streets and trails seem mundane. Playing the cello would feel as hollow as its inside. Scriptures would lose meaning without being able to share them. Cooking for only myself too much would either make me obese or depressed. Probably both. Cleaning would get pointless if I only had myself to do it for.

Would life really serve its purpose if our daily interactions with people were totally impersonal? What if everyone I knew was just a merely an acquaintance? No intimate conversations about truth, love, friendship, heartache, joys, sorrows, trials, etc. Not only would life seem much less vivacious, but I would be stuck with all of these feelings on my own.

Furthermore, my growth would be stunted. As I noted the eventual degradation of each self-sustaining activity, I realized that I would reach a point that I could no longer progress. I could not learn patience without other people. I couldn't learn intellectually unless I was able to replicate every experiment, historical event, and novel ever created. Any talents I would have with people would go unrealized. Most importantly, I couldn't learn love--and what's deeper, charity.

You might be asking yourself, Why is Suzette trying to convince me that life would be nothing without our close friends and family? It's not you that needs convincing. I have forgotten the importance of having close allies in the midst of facing demons.

I'm not sure if a clear connection was drawn between the frustration of expectations and the "needing people in my life" thing. Here it is: I feel like people are expecting so much from me. Sometimes I feel like their sucking the life out of me. However, I am dependent on them as well in order to progress. While I get frustrated that they need me to do everything, what I didn't realize is that I need them to become all that I can be.

This makes me think of the Beatitudes that Christ gave on the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5).

The first 4 Beatitudes consist of things we can do on our own. They don't require the presence of anyone. They rely heavily on your own personal relationship with Christ. No people are involved just yet. These are attributes you can develop on your own:
Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.

The next five pertain to our relationships with others:

Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.

Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.

How can we learn to be merciful without having anyone to show mercy? How can we practice being pure in heart without interacting with other people? Same with being a peacemaker, being persecuted, and reviled. All of these require other people.

And here's what Christ says after all of these things:

Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

After rereading this, I can't help but feel that Christ really does have it figured out for us. That's why we have people in our lives. To help us reach our potential.